münchen

12:00pm - coming up from the s-bahn (subway), my eyes glaze over with thick, choking tears. it's all real and I was beginning to see for the first time a whole 'nother world which my eyes had never seen. how strange that it all exists here, preserved, and the majesty still visible. i sit here in a side cafe with a cup of rich coffee (like maybe a few amazing restaurants in the states would be able to compete with) in my hands trying to compose my silly american self amidst the 1940s decor and cloud of smoke coming from a round corver booth behind me. and i sit here, almost at the window sill, writing my childish thoughts and gazing at the snowßcovered park that is hardly important to anyone else except me and the dogs who pee there. i think most people don't even realize there's a park there, but to me it's beautiful and lovely and inspiring and...

and i'm getting a headache from all this smoke. seems like every person here smokes. my headache is accompanied by a women signing the beatles "imagine" and i can't help but smile. then i stop because i realize americans already appear stupid enough without me sitting here dumbly looking out the window at peeing dogs and smiling.

i think i'm gonna get going. after all this is a restaurant and i'm just at a table drinking coffee. plus i stink at german so i'd rather get out of here before another meeting between me and my server necessitates another awkward, embarrassing, "sprechen Sie deutsche?" or her mumbling something and me smiling like an idiot back at here. "sorry im american, i dont need to speak your language." strangely, im one of the few who doesnt think english is the only language available and i hate this barrier between me and them and i plan to break it soon. i begin a german class next week.

3:00pm - so this time i'm in a quaint restaurant outside the Rathaus (city hall) called Augustiner Großgaststtäten Restaurant and from what I understand, it's been here since 1328, which i believe is quite long. it's weird to think other people have been sitting in this same place since then, and i wonder how much things have changed since then. this particular place is situated on the main street of münchen where most of the shopping is. to me, the shops are like a huge, anciently decorated outdoor mall.with thousands if people exchanging lives in the square. there's so many different people here (but they still all speak german!). even people who wouldn't normally speak english in the states have learned german to live in this country. i guess people like it better than english. i am so ashamed for being here and not knowing a word.

anyways, back to downtown münchen - all the buildings are so old. i remember when we visited cincinnatti on a basketball road trip i thought it was lovely because the buildings were so old. ha! münchen is one of the oldest cities and the people have done so well at preserving it. the ceiling, for example here in this particular restaurant, is so ornate, and the pictures so ancient. the huge chandeliers remind me of a disney movie - especially the one right in front of me with deer on it. i feel i'm in gaston's pub or something. the people here in this restaurant are not overly wealthz, but everyone seems quite proper - well, unless you count the women dressed in smart business attire and drinking a tall pint of beer. then again, we are in germany, so it's a bit different that a classy woman in the states ordering a budlight.

i just had another coffee (no free refills it seems in europe) and some bottled water (i think she misunderstood my request for plain water) and sausage (at least a foot long) with amazing mashed potatoes and carrots/peas. i think this is probably the most wonderful city i've been in, and i'm thinking that there are so many more that i will see while i am here! what did i do to deserve this opportunity? i don't know how to answer, but i'm thanking God every day for all this - if only i could believe the reality of being here!

5:00pm - me siento aqui esperando por mi SBahn a wolfrahnstrausse, y la gente de los trens fueron en huelga este dia. entonces, no se cuando que yo puedo regresar a casa. es bueno que yo comi dos horas antes. no se cuando el tren va a venirse. yo anoro hablando en espanol - aleman es mas dificil que espanol. yo peinso que mi boca no fue hecha para pronunciar las palabras alemanas, pero no puedo continuar sin saber la idioma en esta ciudad. estoy llenaba con verguenza porque no se esta idoma, y es muy molestando que no estuve pudiendo hablar con nadie.

se fue...yo necesito encontrar mi camina a casa.